The Latest 10


As Heard By Barfly, Mar 31 2021, 7:06 pm

He goes to the salad bar to meet new women.

   

As Heard By Barfly, Mar 18 2021, 2:25 pm

Never mind me. My Tweets are vodka fueled tonight. Hope y'all had a great St. Patrick's Day!! My firstborn is named Patri...

   

As Heard By Barfly, Mar 10 2021, 3:12 pm

We don't have voluntary control over our internal organs because our brains don't trust us enough to keep ourselves alive.

   

As Heard By Barfly, Feb 25 2021, 2:40 pm

Can I get an A-hic! https://t.co/Ulyz98Pz6d

     

As Heard By Barfly, Feb 18 2021, 6:09 pm

"My friend Dorothy is giving up #facebook for lent. I'm like, I told Mark he was a dumbass 12 years ago and deleted mine.

   

As Heard By Barfly, Feb 12 2021, 3:20 pm

No one will go to prom with me?? Well that's fine because I'm starting my own prom just for me and you're not invited....

   

As Heard By Barfly, Feb 12 2021, 3:20 pm

Ten years from now you'll put on a jacket and find a mask in the pocket. "Oh man, what a weird year that was, you'll c...

   

As Heard By Barfly, Feb 11 2021, 1:32 pm

I will always stay up late if there is the possibility of sex.

   

As Heard By Barfly, Feb 3 2021, 2:14 pm

Shit I Hear In Bars is online at https://t.co/dQ2FzGXJSf and it's not just what we hear in bars, its what you overh... https://t.co/Si0YcFHLU7

   

As Heard By Barfly, Feb 2 2021, 2:54 pm

Seriously, posting all these tweets is exhausting. I do not envy social media managers.

   

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